....Human beings, given the right support, tend to rise to meet high expectations. Chastity is difficult, but so is most of what is truly worthwhile in life. It is time for all of us, schools and parents, to raise the bar.....

THOMAS LICKONA, CATHOLIC EDUCATION RESOURCE CENTER

Because we need good character to guide our sexual lives, sexuality education must be character education. In his famous "Marshmallow Test", Stanford University psychologist Walter Mischel offered four-year-old children a deal: If they could delay eating a nice, fresh marshmallow until he returned from a 15-minute errand, he would give them two marshmallows. But if they ate the marshmallow before he returned, that would be the only one they would get.

What would you do if you were four? Different four-year-olds did different things. Some devoured the marshmallow in a matter of seconds. But others managed to wait the full 15 minutes and earn the second marshmallow. Mischel's marshmallow study subsequently followed its subjects into their senior year of high school and compared the "grabbers" with the "waiters".

Those who could delay gratification at age four were, as teenagers:

- still better able to delay gratification in pursuit of goals;
- better able to make plans and follow through on them;
- more likely to persevere in the face of difficulty;
- more self-reliant and dependable;
- better able to cope with stress;
- better able to concentrate on a task;
- more academically competent — scoring, on average, more than 100 points higher on a college entrance exam than the children who did not delay gratification on the marshmallow test at age four.

Mischel concluded: The ability to regulate an impulse in the pursuit of a goal is a "meta-ability" that affects the development of many other important capacities. Throughout history, self-discipline — including sexual self-discipline — has been considered a mark of good character.

In our time, however, wisdom about sexual restraint was swept aside by the sexual revolution, still making its way around the world.

However, chastity may be making a comeback. In the United States, high school students who say they have not had sexual intercourse are in the majority for the first time in 25 years. There are new voices speaking up for sexual sanity, such as Wendy Shalit, author of A Return to Modesty: Discovering the Lost Virtue and Girls Gone Mild, and Dawn Eden, a former rock music historian who has written The Thrill of the Chaste: Finding Fulfilment While Keeping your Clothes On. (FOR LINKS TO THESE BOOKS GO TO: http://www.catholiceducation.org/articles/sexuality/se0159.htm )

Educating for Character in the Sexual Domain: Three Essential Assets

What assets do young people need to be able to draw upon in order to live a chaste life style in our current culture? I think there are three:

1. Ethical wisdom about what is right and good and, in particular, why chastity is necessary for self-respect and authentic happiness.

2. Strengths of character that make it possible to live a chaste life style — virtues such as self-control in the face of sexual temptation; the self-respect that motivates modesty; a deep respect for the rights, dignity, and value of other human beings; a sense of responsibility for others' welfare; the fortitude to resist sexual pressures; the integrity that keeps us faithful to our beliefs and values; the determination to start over if we've made mistakes; and, if one has religious faith, the humility to rely on God's grace in the face of struggles and failures.

3. Ethical support systems such as clear teaching and good example from our parents; a character-centered course in marriage and family preparation; a schoolwide culture of character; and solid teaching about chastity in our churches, temples, and mosques. These ethical support systems, especially when they work together, provide the environmental support that helps a young person live chastely in a hyper-sexualized world that does not value this virtue.

Let's look more closely at each of these assets.............

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