Woman Raised by Lesbians: I Craved That ‘Male Stability, That Father in My Life’

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By Michael W. Chapman, CNSNews, Sept. 19, 2017

Michael W. ChapmanWhile speaking in Australia’s Parliament against initiatives to legalize gay “marriage,” Millie Fontana, a donor-conceived child of lesbian parents, said it is a “misconception” that all children reared by gays are “stable and happy,” and added there was not a moment in her childhood she “did not crave that male stability and that father in my life.”

When, at age 11, she finally met her father, it was “one of the happiest days of my life,” she said, because she saw her “heritage” and her “other family” — uncles, aunts, grandparents.

Fontana further said the push for “marriage equality” in Australia does not mean equality for children, but solely “equality for adults.” When “it comes to marriage and how closely intertwined marriage is with child reproduction, we cannot say yes to homosexual marriage without invalidating a child’s right to both genders,” she said.

Millie Fontana is a child’s rights activist who often writes and lectures about her own upbringing. She also is a contributor to Them Before Us, an organization that defends the rights of children through social policy.

Attempts to legalize gay “marriage” have failed 22 times in Australia since 2004. Milie Fontana,  spoke in Australia’s Parliament in November 2015 as part of the Voice 4 Kids Summit.

  (Photo: Pinterest) 

“The truth is that growing up with two mothers forced me to be confused about who I was and where I fit in the scheme of the world,” said Fontana, then 23 years old.  “And it became increasingly obvious as soon as I hit school. You would see every other child embracing who they are on mother’s or father’s day. They would be rejoicing and celebrating with their parents and family members.”

“And there I was sitting back and wondering what is wrong with me, and why don’t I have that connection with my father?” she said.  “Was he such a bad person that that could not be facilitated for me? That is damaging.”

She continued, “As time went on and the lies went on – you know, ‘you don’t have a father,’ many different variations of just ‘you don’t have a father’ and ‘you’re not allowed to see your father,’ and ‘ you have another mother’ – as though that statement was enough to conceal the emotions inside me and offer me stability. The reality is that it just wasn’t enough.”

“There’s not a moment I looked back and thought I did not crave that male stability and that father in my life,” said Fontana. “When I was at age 11, I was finally allowed to meet my father. It was one of the happiest days of my life. I felt stable and at peace for what was probably the first time in my childhood.”

“I saw my future,” she said. “I saw my heritage. I saw my other family. That was something I am so grateful to have been given at such a critical time in my development. And I cannot believe that LGBT is trying to push an agenda that says my feelings were not important, and that what I needed in order to continue as a healthy individual is not something – sorry. It’s almost laughable because we put aside the political correctness, as Katy said, and we look at it for what it is, which is child needs versus adult desire.”

(Photo: NH Labor News) 

“Somebody’s relationship should always be respected, whether it is homosexual or heterosexual,” said Fontana. “But when it comes to marriage and how closely intertwined marriage is with child reproduction, we cannot say yes to homosexual marriage without invalidating a child’s right to both genders.”

“This is not equality for children,” she said.  “This is equality for adults. And the term ‘marriage equality’ actually offends me because nobody is thinking about the consequence on the other side of the coin – what comes out of that union? What comes out of it is us.”

Earlier in her talk, Fontana said, “When people look at children of gays, the misconception is straightaway that we are well-loved, and that we must be stable and happy. The reason for this is the gay community is promoting this ideology that ‘love is love,’ and that we don’t actually need any biological roots at all to be parented well and to be well-adjusted and happy.”

“This has been incorrect for me and for many others,” she said.  “And the promotion of this ideology has made it difficult for people in my position to come forward and say what is actually going on behind closed doors for us.”

(Image: Open Clipart) 

“The lie affects us in so many different ways,” said Fontana.  “We aren’t welcomed to come forward and, ironically, to come out about who we are and say that we don’t support this ‘marriage equality.’  We face rejection. I’d go so far as to say we face demonization, in terms of some of us. It is shocking that this minority has risen to the point of pushing us down as the new age minority that is upcoming.”

“I feel that the forced and deliberate separation of a child from a biological parent, without a valid reason regarding welfare, is a form of child abuse,” said Fontana.  “And that any kind of biological connection, as long as it is not harmful to the child, should be facilitated wherever possible.”

“If you’re watching this or hearing this and you’re a child of my circumstance, I encourage you to come forward and share your story because in reality it needs to be okay for us to not be okay as children,” she said. “And if we say yes [to gay marriage] and are afraid of being seen as homophobic, we are making it harder for future generations to say that they are not okay.”